Are you a racist/bigot?

It's a pretty sensitive question, to which most people would want to disassociate themselves from. Since, by admitting that you are a bigot people tend to give you the 'evil eye' as if they are free from sin.

Bigotry comes in many forms, the obvious one would be racism. Are you a racist? Ask that question and the immediate response you get from most people is that they are not and they would start arguing that they have many friends who are of different race, etc trying hard to 'prove' that they are not!

It's a simple question, a yes or no answer would suffice. So why would people go to great lengths just to 'prove' they are not by sighting examples of their un-racist behaviour? If I were to ask 'Are you hungry?' will you go to great lengths to 'prove' that you are not hungry, or will you just answer yes or no? So why the 'extra effort' to deny that you are a racist?

Is it because deep down you know that you are a racist and you feel you need to prove that you are not?

I've met some people (whom I 've just met), who tell me that they are not racist and that they have many Malay, Indian, Chinese friends. The trouble is that I didn't even ask whether you are a racist or not, nor did I ask about how many Malay, Chinese or Indian friends you have! But for some reason they felt they needed to tell me they are not racist!

But, if you were to categorize your friends as Malay, Chinese or Indian, doesn't that make you a racist? Friends are friends. Period. No such thing as Indian friends or Chinese friends or Malay friends or Melanau friends. Just friends, that's all.

For those who deny that you are a racist, take a look around you. Who are your 'close' circle of friends? If they are the same ethnicity as you, then you may be a racist (but not necessarily). What about the people you date? Do you only date people within the same ethnicity? Do you REALLY treat everyone equally or is it that 'some people are more equal than others'? Do you give everyone equal opportunities? Or do you sideline some people due to your own biasness (be it race, religion, etc)

But then, it is inbuilt within our natural instincts to 'stick to your own kind', hence the reason why your 'close' friends may be the same ethnicity as you. The trouble is that subconsciously you didn't 'give the opportunity' to people of other ethnicity to prove their worth. So, how would you know whether you are a racist or not? There are no set rules or test to decide. It is your mindset. Consider the following scenarios:

Scenario 1:
If you were to meet 2 strangers, one is the same ethnicity as you the other is not. Who would you PREFER to trust and befriend first?

Scenario 2:
Again, you meet 2 strangers, both are of different ethnicity, one is 'fair' skinned while the other is 'dark' skinned, who would you be more inclined to trust or befriend? Or can you trully say that you can be objective enough to treat both of them equally?

Scenario 3:
Again, you meet 2 strangers, both are of similar ethnicity, but one is 'good looking' the other is not. Who would you PREFER to befriend?

Try to find the reasoning behind your answers.

But racism can't be helped. We all grew up with it thanks to our upbringing as well as our politicians who keep it live and well in this country. Society is such that we tend to associate certain 'traits' to certain races:

Malays: Lazy, easily bribed, religious extremists, etc.
Indian: Drunks, thugs, wife beaters, etc.
Chinese: Involved in illegal business, gangsters, can't be trusted, etc.

I really hate it when people assume that I like to consume alcohol just because I am Indian. There are several occasions when I go to my friends' house for a visit where the parent would ask whether I'd like a beer or other form of liqour. Why the assumption that I like to drink? If I came over for a visit due to a celebration, I would understand for such an offer. But there wasn't any celebration. I just dropped by to visit your son/daughter and not to celebrate anything.

There are even occassions when I go and meet up some of my old friends where they'd be surprised when I decline alcohol. Hence putting the 'pressure' that since I'm Indian, I must be a good drinker! So, I need to drink just to meet their expectations? And by doing so, I'd then prove that Indians are indeed good drinkers. And the circle goes on and on.

So who's to blame if Indians are drunks? Here I am trying NOT to be a drunk and there's peer pressure (from my non-Indian friends) as well as people offering me alcohol when I go to visit based on the assumptions that Indians are drunks.

Since this happened/happens to me, what more the other Indians? And not everyone is strong willed to resist peer pressure. Hence, society itself creates such polarizations among the races and then they feel vindicated when a person of a particular race behaves just as they predicted! What they faill to realise is that it is their bigotry that caused the other to behave as such! It's a vicious cycle!

Well, the above are just 'mild' forms of racism I've experienced. I have experienced worst forms of racism, which I do not wish to discuss as it would only incite more hatred. But since I am a 'victim' of racism, that justifies me to be a racist against another race right? It wasn't fair to me to be a victim of racism, so why should I hold back and stop being a racist especially against that particular race who treated me unfairly?

But if I were to treat someone unfairly as retribution for me being treated unfairly before, wouldn't that create a 'new victim' who'd pass on the 'torch of racism' to the next generation?

Look at our political parties, the majority are race based parties. Why is there a need 'to defend' one's own race? Why can't these parties and NGOs defend everyone's rights as a whole?

Bigotry is not only limited to racism, there are other forms of bigotry such as based on religion and class. Some people tend to be more religious than others and have this 'holier than thou' attitude. Others feel that they are from the 'upper class' of society and hence don't mix with people from the 'lower class'. Some only mix with 'smart' people and shun the 'stupid' people.

So how do you know whether you are a bigot/racist? You won't. It is the people around you who would know. It is your actions that would determine it, not what you say or feel.

So, am I a racist/bigot? I'll let my friends be the judge of that ;)

I F@*k on the first date

Alright, alright, I don't do that. Just thought that it would make an interesting blog title to get your attention.

But then, the title is related to an incident which happened yesterday, 31st August 2009. My sis in law got her bonus and wanted to give us a dinner treat. She suggested we go to a new cafe that just opened up at Jalan Layang, Perling called 'Bamboo Cafe' or something like that.

So, myself, mom, dad, bro, sis in law and my 2 baby nieces got all dressed up and made our way to this new cafe in 2 cars.

As I parked my car, I noticed that the Cafe had retained the previous owner's decor (I think it was Anjung Warisan or something like that). It was more of a Malay-Balanese wood decor. As we got out we noticed that we were the only ones to be there (bad sign).

Of course, I gave them the benefit of the doubt that since they were new, not many people know about them.

As we got out of the car, we were greeted by the smiley faces of several staff dressed in brown uniform with black caps.

Standing at the enterance of the shop, beside the staff was a guy, probably in his late 20s or early 30s wearing a white singlet and jeans. On his singlet was printed in big, bold blue letters "I F@*k on the first date" (please note it wasn't sensored on his singlet). I thought to myself that he must be customer as well as an asshole for wearing such a singlet at a 'family' place like this.

But I found it odd as to why the customer was also smiling and greeting at us and counting how many of us was coming in. Then my dad asked the singlet guy whether he was working here and to which he said yes. My dad got offended by what was written on his singlet and started scolding him!

He then asked for the boss and the singlet guy said that HE was the boss! My dad immediately said to us that we are leaving and he refuses to eat at a shop where the boss doesn't have any respect for the customers. So we just walked out!

What a moron right? Here is this guy who is supposedly the boss. He spent so much money in acquiring the place doing some renovation, getting the uniforms for the staff and create a supposedly 'classy' environment, but he himself dresses in singlet with the words 'I F@*k on the first date' imprinted and he stands in front to greet the customers! What a moron!

Well hopefully after the 'bamboo' from my dad, Cafe Bamboo's so called boss would have learnt his lesson! I bet the staff would have a field day over the incident! Merdeka!